Intuitive coach and counselor Victoria Shaw joins to discuss our purpose here on Earth, how our spirit guides help guide us, the art of surrender and what it takes to manifest our dreams and everyday miracles. And a special message about 2020 – have more compassion for yourself, loving all of humanity and as much as possible, love the journey you’re on.
“The opposite of depression is lack of purpose.” – Cathy Heller
Intuitive coach and counselor Victoria Shaw joins to discuss our purpose here on Earth, how our spirit guides help guide us, the art of surrender and what it takes to manifest our dreams and everyday miracles. And a special message about 2020 – have more compassion for yourself, loving all of humanity and as much as possible, love the journey you’re on.
“The opposite of depression is lack of purpose.” – Cathy Heller
Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/user?u=30119183)
you are listening to a psychic story, a podcast that shares behind the scenes insights of people who lead supernatural lives among the ordinary. And I'm your host, Nicole Bigly. Join me every other Wednesday as I dispel the myths behind Magic and more. Welcome to a psychic story. Everyone, as I mentioned, Here's Victoria Shaw, and we're going to be talking about using intuition and spiritual guidance to set and achieve goals and also what is really the importance of surrender. So and spirituals surrender, for that matter. So when you have a goal, that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to control every single thing for it to kind of come into place. And that's something that is right up our alley, as we've talked about on this show before. So welcome, Victoria.
Thank you. Who could be here?
Yes, we're very excited to dive in. And how we'd like to do it on the show is, of course, people that have been listening for a while, you know that we just go straight into what is your background and how did you get started in tapping into your intuition and then also weaving into your practice with your clients.
So my background is I think I was someone who was probably always intuitive, but I was so overwhelmed. Oven MPAA I just came from a somewhat dysfunctional family. I was so overwhelmed by all the information I was receiving that I don't think I really recognized it for what it was. And about 15 years ago I made a move from New York City to Connecticut, which isn't much calmer, quieter area, and I also at that point in my life, I had left a career in academic psychology and that time raising my family. But I was feeling like there was something I was supposed to be doing. There was something more, and I knew I didn't want to go back to doing what I was doing before. And I had all young kids, which is not always the best time to branch out and try new things. But the, you know, the feeling wouldn't go away. And when we moved to Connecticut and I started deepening my into it on my meditation practice, brother keeping my meditation practice and doing some personal development work, I realized that I had these intuitive guests. I realized that I'd had in my whole life that I didn't know it and that part of my calling was to home nose and really tap in so that I could use that for myself and the other as the gift developed. What I realized is one of my special skills that I could read other people. And I could, you know, see what people are feeling. See what they were thinking. But guidance for other people on You know what the next steps in their life were. And because of that, I decided that since I was already an academic psychologist, I made the decisions all the first counseling degree I could have, you know, really ground what I was getting into really concrete skills. No, I was doctor and received a master's of counseling, and I put the two
and I work. That's amazing. And when you mentioned that that you had, you realize that you intuitive gifts, do you think that all people have those gifts? I had somebody explain it to me, which I think totally makes sense that some people are natural born runners. Some people just get math really quickly. Some people are more creative in nature. And so in some cases, well, we all may have a little bit of it. Maybe it's just easier for some of us to kind of shape that work. Do you think that it's something you know? I'd love to hear your perspective about it.
I think that's a beautiful analogy. I think that for some of us, maybe we've worked over this from this for many, many lifetimes and or just, you know, a conclusive factors in this lifetime, and it just really worked for you, enclosed for you. And it comes very naturally for other people, not so much, and they have to work out it. But I think it's also important to know everyone has intuition. Everyone's connecting with their intuitive guided all the time. It's just most people aren't aware of it, so there isn't anyone who is not being guided. We're all being guided. It's a lot of people are so much in their minds that they can't always here be aware of the guidance, but it's still always happening, and anyone can make that intention to open up more to their to it. If guided and bring intuition more into their lives. And they may not do what I dio or what you dio, but you know, it'll still enhance their lives. It will still be exactly the right camel, the right information and the right, um, intuition just for them.
I'm so excited to dive into that more and get some details on how we can actually tap into that. Because, like you said, everybody does it a little bit differently or need something right, and as far as like turning it on, But before we do that, tell me a little bit. So you mentioned that you had your psychology degree. What happened then? What were people's thoughts when you decided to naturally dive into this modality and bring that to your to the forefront? Were people surprised? Not suppose ist,
because my family has always been really supportive. My friends have been really supportive. Ah, lot of people said to me after the fact year, but years later saying, Oh, this makes perfect sense. Knowing you, before knowing your family like it makes sense that you're doing this. You know, I always thought there was something about you and now I get what it is. So I think I was really fortunate that way. I think the bigger battle was in my very own mind because being trained in academic psychology and I went to an Ivy League. So I was like, all in the left brain person. And I think the bottle was in my own mind to really start toe let gold some of that. But understand that this other way of knowing if our minds are great my training is great. I draw on it and use it all the time, so grateful for it. But I my intuition comes first for me, and I think that our intellectual information should be in service of our intuition and not the other way around. So for me, it was sort of letting go of the need to know and letting go of all the things that I have been taught about, you know, even just, you know, intuition is something you just know. It's something that comes Dio and later on, you could do a bunch of experiments and they might actually lead you to the very same answer. But it works differently. So for me, it was a lot of coming to terms within myself that this was an okay way of knowing that this was a better way of doing for me. And the proof for me was in the pudding because as I started to develop my intuition and as I really made that attention toe live more in line with Beard and my guidance, my higher self my life kept getting better. And people that you know knew me would say What? What have you been doing? Like you're a different person, This is great. So
you become more authentically yourself. And I think there for people to be able to relate more to you is on a human level because you are not. I don't say hiding things. We don't do it. And intentionally, I don't think it's what we're programmed from. A young age and you mentioned are read in your bio that you felt like you had a lack of purpose and that made you feel overwhelmed and anxious. And then there was, like, kind of the spiritual wakening that goes into that. I'd love Teoh here a little bit more about that, because I think that a lot of times people are going through something similar and they don't necessarily equate it to that. It's actually a spiritually awakening unnecessarily. And one of the podcasters I love that actually encouraged me to do this show is Cathy Heller, and she has, ah, podcasts called Don't keep your day job and she said that opposite of depression isn't happiness. It's actually purpose. And I say that frequently to myself during the day, not that depressed. But I think that because of what you said in your bio and then also what she says is actually true. Like if we're not following our North Star calling our purpose and then we get lost. And so if you could walk us through what individuals or yourself experienced so that they know when to tap in and went actually, that this is a sign right that you should be following to open yourself up more to this
absolutely. And you give me a minute here. I have guys that want to come through on the topic, so I'm gonna get out of my brain and get into that because one of the things that really wants from feeling called contributor to say right now about guidance and purpose is that when we're talking about purpose. We're really talking about being in alignment with what our spirit wants. A lot of times people think purpose, you know, from their egos, from their minds and from what society tells us our purpose should look like and often times sometimes those things line up perfectly. But sometimes two weeks make ourselves crazy looking for that kind of purpose. So I think is really important when we talk about purpose. Really, Lonny it with that deeper meaning in your life, that deeper spiritual meaning in your life. And I think that what really helped me because I think when I was I left academic psychology because it just wasn't resonating with me. I didn't really love doing research. I had gone into psychology to ask the big questions like what is consciousness? And those are not questions, Really. The academic psychology was really answering at the time, so I was It was a mismatch for May, and I was looking all these things that you don't find that mean to find that purpose to find that And this Yes, I had kids so that that definitely was very fulfilling. Being a mother was very filling to May. But I also had a sense of wanting to have a career and wanting to act in the world, and I was doing It was from the wrong place. I was looking what my mind was saying, what people were telling me. That should be what you should do next in this makes sense. And this is prestigious and and this will make money and none of the things for what I needed line with what I'm doing now, which is giving me all of the things that I want and want it, but you know, in a more meaningful way. So I think that when we think about purpose is that deeper purpose really thinking about that inner deeper purpose
and then that clarity lens are leads itself to action, right? So it's not. It's not necessarily getting the house, getting that job, finding that person as much. I mean, yes, you may be lead to or feeling that that's important and not knocking any of that. But it's more about what are you getting out of it in terms of a spiritual sense and what do you giving back to others in the spiritual world that then ends up fulfilling you. And when you finally get the clarity on that than everything else, just once they start stuff on the place. But you get the signs more right
and you're on when you get the signs, definitely make some act on them and move forward. But, yeah, I have parents. I work I live in. I live in practice in a very high pressure, affluent community, and I will have parents come into me with, you know, say my general hasn't found a purpose yet or they haven't found their
passenger planes just so
Yeah, so bad. And I'm like it. It's OK. She's not a sport kid, and he's not a Mac kid, and I don't know what he's going to do and how much he's gonna feel. So talks about distinguishing between, because sometimes even that idea purpose can get taken over by this, you know, ego driven. I have to do, do do, and sometimes you don't. It comes right when we align. When we surrender, it comes right to us. It comes into our lap and it's always more rewarding and fulfilling than what your mindset of dreams.
Yeah, and it's a very important distinction because we as a society in the last I want to say 50 even 100 years. We ended up becoming more of the factory worker mindset like you goto work, you come home, you do. There's like you said There's this thing like you have to know what your goal is in life. Do you want to become a doctor or an engineer or this that and the other and the pressure that we put on ourselves and then society also puts on us or it's a perceived thing right that ends up just spiraling out of control. And when in reality, if we are just to kind of listen and tune in to ourselves that we would be a lot more a line and then be starting to hear more with that purposes, so would love to hear more from you on. If somebody comes to you, what does the process look like? So I took the quiz on your website. It was definitely, you know, spot on. But what does that look like when somebody comes to you and says, OK, we'll take career, for example, if they want Teoh get ahead if they want to be very, you know, abundant in their career or that sort of thing. What is it that you like, kind of walk them through and what it and I know every individual's different, so probably customized. But if you could kind of just give us an idea of what that looks like, I think that would be very helpful.
And it's true that everyone's different. And I think when you're using your listen, when I'm using my intuition of my guidance, I'm always really careful not to have a recipe book out
and then really
tune into what that person needs in that moment of time. And it's always gonna be different for more testing to another from one part of his sessions to another. And that's what I love about intuition.
Yeah, and that's completely different in the medical community. They, like Teoh, look at things as a formula, right, because then they can have test and they can have benchmarks and say, Well, this work for this person, this is status quo. This is how we have to do it and what I loved what she said. There is a disease intuition. So in general, as much as you can or best you can. What does that look like when you were working with somebody?
So usually when people come in and again, it's different for everyone. But usually when people come in that they're usually focused on a specific problem. I love the work that I do, and occasionally I will get someone who, just like most of my long term clients, who just come in for that energy check up there. One of the guys have to say what I need to be working on it, and those are some of my funnest on his clients. But oftentimes people come into something's wrong, and so there's something specific that in their life that is a struggle. So if it's career, it might be worrying they're not making enough. Or it might be worrying that, you know, feeling like they're not fulfilled. Or it might be a difficult boss or difficult coworkers, a long commute work, family balance. So usually the first thing is we focus. We began by focusing on the issue that the client brings to the table because there's usually is something and then I would provide life in my guidance and when I think about my guidance. But I What I always explain to people is that I'm a conduit for your guidance. So there's nothing I know that you don't know that your spirit doesn't know. I mean, on human form. I know stuff. I have lots of degrees and letters after my name and I studied and I bread. So I know some stuff and I'll bring that to the table to. But in terms of the guidance, you know, we all any information I'm giving to my client. They know at least the higher self knows. I am giving that back to them so they can hear to get in human form, and that starts in awaken within them. So the first thing that he was really tune into the guidance and see what comes through for that client in terms of whatever they're struggling with. And I always help people to focus on what resonates with, um because when I'm also trying to do when I do this work and provide patents for people as I'm trying to help them start to hear their own inner guidance, and so if someone comes to me and they just want me to tell them what to do or tell them what quote unquote there, guys, they're saying that gives the power to me and I don't want it. Everybody happened to their power and learn more and more what feels right to diamond what Grozny's with, um, and nine of the Sun Times after working with someone for a while and sometimes even after one session, their intuition, if it isn't already there, well, you know what is already there over to start, even if they're not aware of it and working with it yet it will start to develop. So that's really the first thing that I do. Is it happen to that guidance? Often times, you know, Sometimes the information that comes through is very, very specific. It might be a reading on the coworker. It might be something karmic about past life or something that's happened, you know, or something that someone is here to work on with the relationship at work or just work in general so that information will come through sometimes is really striking information about, you know, helping someone really see that maybe they're not in the right line of work and helping them find those next steps to move onto something else and sometimes to probably because I'm a counselor. But also I became a counselor for this reason. Oftentimes the information I see is from unresolved childhood issues that are recreating themselves in other aspects of our lives. If, for example, you grew up in a family that was very, very chaotic, you may find yourself unconsciously drawn to work environments that are similar because you're still working on navigating that issue when we find that overlay between our childhood issues and the present issues. A. We can start to orient ourselves in the present and recognizing that your activated now because this happened in your childhood. But you're not a child now. You have more power now, and what can you do now to transform?
And that's really an interesting point, because I believe on the show mentioned. But I've moved about 22 times before I went to college, so I moved quite a bit of a kid. Yeah, and wow.
and so what's interesting and kind of just to kind of relate to that is for me. I ended up picking a career that was in PR and communications, which every day is different. So they didn't necessarily know what I was gonna get because it felt familiar to me. And I always equated it to you. The fact that I was getting bored because of that childhood thing. So I think something's on what I'm hearing you say and correct me if I'm wrong is some things are good in the sense that they prepared you for where you need to be and where your app. But then also, if it's something one resolved, then you definitely need to take the time to kind of dive into that and do the work right
for sure. And again, if you had a parent specific example, um, of someone that I'm working with, who had parents that were very disorganized and, you know, would just lose. You know, if there was a permission slip from school, it wouldn't get done. If they had to sign them up for a class, it wouldn't get done. You know, the paperwork for his driver's license wouldn't get done. And so he has become amazing as an adult at navigating and organizing because he had to take that on as a child or it didn't get done. And so that is a beautiful gift. And if you can get the anxiety piece out of it cause, of course to sometimes we can be so fearful of not being completely organized, because in our childhood it was so chaotic. So is sort of teasing apart those emotional things that might be getting in our way of creating problems but also recognizing our right. And sometimes they're just right. Sometimes you know, you have developed adaptability because you've moved so much, and that is that is a great soul, lifetime strength for you and other times. It could be a liability and something you need to work on and then you know, more often than not a boat. So we tease out the strength a lot of people that may be felt insecure in their childhood or they were bullied in their childhood as adults. They may have a really or they didn't get the pick care, maybe in attention that they need it from their parents and their childhood, and they become very strong, empowered adult, and they may still sometimes they working on some of that baggage and sometimes that magically goes away. But you know, they're still amazing,
and I definitely believe our strengths are also our weaknesses. So it's definitely a balance, right? You want to lean into it when you can, but not lean into it too much toe where it ends up being the only thing that you're focused on because there is that you in and Yang with it. And so I've always been curious. Definitely. I'm a type A person. And when I go through things and what I've realized most recently in the last few years of my life is that there's this art of surrender and it's definitely good to have goals and objectives. But ultimately, like at the end of the day, really, the universe is always going to be giving us what we need in life and what we need at that moment. And I think it's difficult for people on one level, actually is just human beings because we do want to control things, especially in this day and age where everything's immediate. We get results. All these things. What is that art of surrender look like, and how can we be more present about it and start to feel more comfortable with it in our everyday lives that we start to bring that in tow practice more.
But I like to think of analogy of, like a boat, a boat going down a river with a strong currents, and ideally, you want to be on the boat going in alignment. The current is like, you know, the rhythm of your life, the path of your life, the way your soul in 10 and ideally, you want to be on the boat moving with the current using a rudder. So you're guiding through the obstacle. You're staying on track. You're navigating what's ahead of you. But when you're not trying to do with warm up current, since we try to turn that boat around and go the other way, we're gonna have a lot of resistance and a lot of comfort. And what most people do is they try to take their boats and you try to go the other way because they want to control everything. And so the more that we surrender really means that you can start to move with the current of life. It doesn't mean that you do nothing. It does. It's not a lazy River, although at times it can be because, you know, sometimes it is nice to relax, but you will still have to pay attention and navigate. But you'll be moving along with the flow with the higher flow of your life. And so that's how I see it in sort of the big, bigger sense, and so the way that you can start. So how about in alignment is connecting with your intuition and connecting with your guidance, and you can also sometimes noticed to when life is feeling really, really frustrating. Sometimes that means you need to take a step back and you're heading there. On what?
When you're trying too hard, a lot of ways
push in the river. Exactly. Sometimes we hit obstacles even when we're heading the right way. Because again, life is just often has obstacles. It's just part of the process of how we live. But when you really have that frustrating, you know I can't make this happen. It's not working. I'm overwhelmed. Usually, not a 10 times is because you're pushing the river. You're trying to do it all yourself, and those are the moments when I find myself in the moment which I still do
frequently than I wish. What I always do is to take a step back. Rest first. You have to recognize it and realize I'm overwhelmed and pushing the river. I'm frustrated like nothing good is gonna come of this energy and I try to step out of it. You self soothing tools. If I need Teoh, take a step back. And then I asked for guidance and that guidance can come in a voice in my head. That guy doesn't come in a dream. Oftentimes, if you know, for me, it can come from a trusted friend or or a guide. If it's something that's really close to me, it's always a little harder to hear your intuition. But you still can. But the guide is always and sometimes you can also ask for life to be your guys and you know opportunities will come. And when you have that opportunity that that fits all the bill, sometimes we're trying so hard to say I want it this way. You know, I need this job. I need to make this much money is being this geographical location. I want this kind of awe and all that might be fine and well, but it's not really what your spirit wants for you, and it may not even be what that is. Buying is what your mind is thinking would be helpful, but your appearance might have a much better idea and a better plan for you. So sometimes we can just
The right opportunity will show up right there and then you'll know it will be so clear. You'll be like, What was I thinking? This is what I wanted to do all along.
You have had experience, and I think for people that are listening that when they hear us say, Well, just listen to your intuition and guidance. Like you said, all of the fans of It's simple, but it's not so I think what you mentioned it's very important to step back and reflect to say, OK, hold the phone, pause for a second breathe, take a look at what of inventory that's going on in your life, how you're feeling about certain things. Your emotions are big part of how, if it feels right to if it doesn't feel right to you again. It sounds simple, but we forget that a lot. And then everybody is different. So it may be something of a sense of knowing. And you're just like, this is what I feel the most passionate about. Sometimes it could be signs and symbols of things that you see that are guiding you in the right direction because they're meaningful to you and to just start that those little things that then kind of give you that sense of where you're going. And, you know, I also I think it's also beautiful that you mentioned about you don't wanna be to specific. So when you box yourself in and you say, OK, this is the salary, all that the celery need, the type of bosses set, the other I always say, How do you want to feel right about the work the people that you do and don't necessarily put the parameters on it because your higher self is going to know in your spirits, and your guides in the universe are going to know what it is that you need. So if you surrender to that piece of it, then you are being at least honest and yourself what you want and what you need But then you're letting a higher purpose takeover,
absolutely. And what most of us want to be is happy to fill. And so when you put your energy there and then say, You know, higher self help me get there through the vehicle through this, work through whatever you're going to get him likely get a much better result.
It's so funny, because in my day to day life, I try and say, OK, I'm not gonna micromanage people that work for me or that sort of thing. But then what I end up doing, as I do it unconsciously, to myself and micromanage every little aspect. And so I've read like I mentioned earlier. The last few years have been about more surrendering and letting that go, and you talk a lot about our spirit guides and then our higher self and guidance from you for people that may not, you know, have been listening all along to the show or aren't as in depth about this. What does that mean or what's in the simplest terms? Can you explain that to people so that they can kind of differentiate
right in terms of your It guys? Well, I believe that we're all spirits in physical form for learning growth and enjoyment that we're all here to accomplish things. We're all here to learn. We usually do this more than once, so we have multiple lifetimes. You have lots of chances to get it right. But each time you come in and you go through a lifetime, you know, you make mistakes, that you get some information, and so you sometimes can get some stuff that you might want to work at work on again the next time around. So that's when things get a little more interesting. But so we're all here with a plan are sold travel plan for us and before we incarnate, we even have a plan before we come in for our physical bodies. There's even a rough plan of what you're gonna work on, who you're gonna work on it with and what even some of those challenges are going to be that we all have free will. But you can change things up it any time. But there's there's a plan in the structure to your life that you don't know about in your small human mind, but your spirit or your higher self has a really good idea, so you can top into that higher wisdom. You talking to your higher self to get guidance on that at any time, and sometimes it's very explicit. Sometimes the client comes into my office and I will get very explosive information about you're having this challenge, and this is what your soul I want you to work on. But it doesn't have to be like that. It doesn't have to be that clear. Cool. If it is, it can. It can sometimes just be very small, many little bits of guidance about what your very next this little stuff is. And then you ask me about spirit guys. And it is my understanding in my experience that we all have spirit that guide us and supported from our human journeys, because when we come into physical form, we forget that were physical beings, and some of us awaken and are reminded, and our spirit guys are here. Teoh help us ban on, and usually they're highly evolved spiritual beings that may have walked on Earth at some point in their very own journey. But they're doing different stuff now, and some of them Their main purpose is to guide you from bursted us and they're just your you know, your guardian angel, your guardian spirit and others come and go. But we all have a spiritual support team that's here to help us and support us and guide us in our lives. And again, whether you know it or not, it's working for you. But when you do know it and you just happen to it, you can use it. We're consciously and intentionally, and I also find for me just the whole idea. Spirit guys was so helpful because prior to sort of a weakening to my own spiritual miss, I felt very alone in the world. And, you know, I had my family and a few people that I really cling to, but other than I always felt very alone. And as soon as that spirit will came back to me and I realized I was supported, poses such a wonderful feeling to know that there's more than this human experience that I could fall back on, and I found it very inspiring.
We're never alone, and I completely concur with you about the whole we have been born before most of us and we have a plan and it's a rough plan. And I love the way he said that because when you talk about free will and most people that I've either gotten readings from or have come to me even for readings, they you know, sometimes it's the question of, Well, if I have a path and have a plan, then I should be here, here and here again, that's like, are our human brain and our ego brain right. Our whole purpose is to learn and grow more spiritually right about this. And so I mean, I may be a in the wrong camp on this, but I ultimately believe that you get toe where you want to go and where your destiny is, but at the same time, sometimes your path may take a little longer to get there based on your choices and others choices that you've made that rough outline or plan with, Then you may just need to navigate. It may take a little bit longer, and that doesn't mean that you're gonna get like the cheat sheet necessarily unless you're doing the hard work on it.
Absolutely. And the good news is is that in the spirit realm, there's no time so your guys don't care how long it takes.
Your spirit doesn't
care how long it takes, because there is no time. But yes, we can sometimes take the direct route, and sometimes we can take the more, um, curvy route. But sometimes the Kirby route is the really interesting one to take again, because a lot of times that we think of is important from our human senses. Not one interest, our spirit, higher spiritual sense at all. So sometimes when we take that Kirby route, you know you get a lot more information and a lot of work, period, so there's not really a right or wrong way to do it. Just different kinds graces.
What's the biggest ah ha experience that you've had doing this? I mean, having been in the academia world or academic world and going through this and then combining it with your your spiritual aspects and intuition for you? What was the biggest moment? Because I know I have a few where just even thinking about the hair stand on the back of my neck, and it makes me feel more invigorating, passionate, but love to hear from you. What what years was if you have one
mean in terms of my work, in
anything really like what is an ah ha moment of where things clicked for you and you felt more connected to the divine and that you were following your purpose.
I think when my intuition started opening for me just in general, that was a huge ah ha moment because all the sudden all the parts of my life started and things that I understood ended in childhood suddenly made sense. And even parts of my own history started to make sense because I could see them not from a different lens. In a different perspective, I also think another big one for me was when I learned about that thing called intuitive empathy because I'm a very empathic dealer person, so and passed their people that feel what other people are feeling as if it's happening to them. And so for me, I was what we might call out of control and passed. I was feeling everything that everyone around me felt all the time, and I remember I once had a healer that was doing energy work. And she was like, I spent an hour moving anger from your legs. No. Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know you could do that. And she's like, It's nothing. But the most interesting thing Victoria, was that you didn't know any of the people whose anger was in your elected.
Yeah, go to the grocery store, you know, is going to be having a bad day and it would go into my leg. So understanding, empathy, it really helped me understand myself and my life. Better help me understand just why start things so difficult why certain things were easy for me, and it also gave me a great framework feeling because it's great. And when you are counselor and you can you check in for a minute and feel what your clients feeling. You can really have compassion and really stand in their shoes. However, if you're just have a lot of clients like this, if you're just turned down all the time and you're just taking on what everyone else is feeling, um, you know, my job would not be a lot of fun for me, and it ultimately I would stop being good at it because I would be emotionally overwhelmed. So that was another Ah ha for me was the discovery of this thing called empathy and learning how to work with it?
Yeah, it doesn't have a huge relief when you finally are are like, OK, that's not me. And that's not my feeling that somebody else has the relief, because for a while there you're just like, Why am I sat? Or why am I feeling all of these things? And you can't quite put your finger on it? And so it's nice when you're actually in tune and more in alignment with yourself. And you can identify that for a lot of people there listening, if you like. If everything's going right and everything's going well, sometimes it's not because you're not following the path or your purpose that you need to be. You need to really do a check in with yourself to see if it truly is you, or if it's somebody that you're living with, or your friends or co workers and so forth. And would you recommend your clients when their senior about like that's the sort of things that you are an impasse? I'm definitely an impasse, and sometimes people have different guest inabilities as well. But what can we do to be more grounded? I mean, I have my my own practice and things, but what are some of the tips and things that use in solutions that you share with with people,
first of all, sort of know what your own energy feels like? And this be harder for some people than others. But the way that we usually feel our own vibration when you're in nature is a really good time when you probably really I feel more like yourself in connected when you're doing something that you really love in that flow state. That's another time that we often feel our own energy and feel really connected. Sometimes in meditation, you can really feel your own energy and feel when you're connected and grounded. And so when you start how those present really present experiences to come back you that's really powerful because you can start to know what feels like me and what doesn't feel like me. You can also ask. So, you know, if your when I was a kid, I really thought that emotions were these things that just kind of came and went randomly, you know, sitting there playing with my Barbie dollars, and suddenly as he sat, I didn't know why that was. I thought that's how emotions work Now I realized it was not like that at all. I grew up around very emotionally volatile people, and I was just picking it up all the time, but their moves were changing, and I was just picking it up. But recognizing that about myself was huge. But then I also have to learn what it feels like, what my feelings feel like. And also it's really good to sometimes just check in and say Is this mind? And if it's not mine, so let it go. But the biggest thing I see with Pau and and I work with Children, teens and adults and I see this on all levels is sometimes people that empathic personality. Those empathic gift believe that whether it's conscious or unconscious, they believe that if I can feel it, I meant to do something about it so they may know it's not there, but they can feel what someone else is feeling, and they think that means that I have to act, and so the biggest thing that I teach impasses, that's not the case. Being able to feel what other people are feeling with a certain degree give you some passing, and that's beautiful. That is what helps you see that we're all human, that we're all connected. It helps you less often than not get into this sort of, he said. She said, because you have compassion for that other person as well as for yourself. But you have to have compassion for yourself, which means that you know that you know my safety in my my strength, my comfort. Um, my integrity comes first. I have to protect my because you really can't do anything else if you don't have compassion for yourself first and then recognizing that we all have our struggles in life. We all have the things that we are, you know, are here to do. We all have time, what things aren't going perfectly for us. And you know, we all have moments when we are in pain and you can have him Having compassion for somebody else means that you can hold the space for them. You can honor them, but it seems you jump into what they're feeling and stay there are feel like you have to change it because they're uncomfortable. You've just crossed the boundary that isn't good for you to review.
Yeah, there's sometimes the best
thing we can do for others is just, you know, then them love and know that if this is happening for them right now, it's as it should be. And there's nothing really we have to do to get involved
and on the flip side. And that really resonates. And hopefully that the others that are listening here, that as well but also feeling your own feelings. So for me being a very strong M path, what I would pick up on his others feelings and exactly what you were saying feel like I needed to do something, stick up for the people that were being bullied, fix the situation at work, to do this and, like, just get into fixer mode and solutions and people need to work on themselves and process it themselves. And it's not your job. But then also what I would do not realizing it is not feel my own feelings, because I felt that if I felt other people's feelings and emotions than mine would be too big to bear. And with ends up doing is it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And what I'm finally realizing is if you take a moment and kind of give myself a deadline rank like it's OK to be sad. It's okay to be mad, angry, whatever. That's part of the beautiful part of being human and learning in this, your spirituality in your growth. But if I feel like after 24 48 hours, I'm kind of Salo in and you know, wallowing and doing all of that that I'm like No. Okay, time to move on. Let Icka release it. And that was hard for me. Like to recognize that I wasn't actually feeling my own feelings and emotions. Um, in a lot of ways and just kind of holding that back.
It is truth you that sometimes what people, what impact Will dio is you will First of all, you will feel and others look un resulting you The us bungee people, for instance Let's just say someone had a parent that was, you know, often angry at some they may be more prone to take on anger from other people. Or maybe they have some unresolved anger and themselves against a minute that might be the emotional film that they feel most from other people. So that's the first thing to recognize that we clean up our own house. And as we learn to have compassion for those you know, our histories ourselves and work through that stuff, we will pick up left from other people. But the other thing that can happen, I think you kind of alluded to this is sometimes we feel other people's feelings because it's easier than feeling our own, and that's that's cheating and it's going to get to one way or another, so it's always better. So when you are triggered by something that someone else is experiencing, and especially when you go into fits, that mode is usually the reason that empower want to spit. What other people are Syrian sing because it's hurting in them and so what you need to do is go back and go back home and pick what's hurting in you, because that's actually the best way that you can affect change in other people. That particular personal situation may not benefit right away or they may just as well. You know, this is Earth is personal, but it's also a collective journey. But when we work on our how we shift energy for many other people follow always good to bring it home. That is where you have the most impact. And that is what you're here to. Dio.
Yes, amen. I totally believe that says something that is a constant theme with every single personally I talked to is that when you look inside yourself and you focus on making yourself a better person, that doesn't mean better in the way of society or where you think you need to be, but actually feeling your best self in your most authentic self, then the whole world would be a different place. And you know, I've believe us of this before, too. But like our d. N A. And our experiences make us the red, each one of us. The rarest thing on the planet there's never after never was. There's never going to be another you me. So our existence is the only proof that we need that there is something that we can only share with the world ourselves, and if that's not powerful, to know that if we then focus and better ourselves, then were there to hold that space, to be that person to be that you know someone for somebody else. But we owe it to ourselves to actually be happy and to follow our own spiritually guidance and intuition and what other things. So outside of if, if anyone's listening and things that you whether it's something that you see commonly with, you know it's a Seymour, a constant thing with your clients that happen and occur that you want to share with the listeners or something that we haven't spoken about today that you feel led to share. You know that is just coming from from your your spiritual sides or your higher self.
What was coming through for my spirit guides for the people that are listening today or I'll say the spirit guys because I have no ownership, it just doesn't cross. That breaks into 2020. We're all being asked to have more compassion with ourselves and in doing so, to really deepen that connection with your spiritual knowing and your intuitive knowing, because that is going to be the bridge that gets us to wherever humanity is going next, and that can look lots of different ways. And I'm sure that you you talk about many of those please on this podcast, so I won't go into all those things now. But compassion for yourself is really where it all starts and ends. So any practices that you can do to get there and in my own journey, what helped awaken my intuition and do all the wonderful things that you know, continues to help me on my past, It being my best M brightest self self compassion has always been first and foremost and loving yourself, loving all pieces of your humanity and also as much as you can loving the journey that you're on because sometimes the journey doesn't feel so loving at all. But when we can, you know how that that place of presence and that face of love for ourselves and for the experience, or even love the fact that we're not loving it so much right now because that's fine to its start has to start somewhere. Life gets easier, life gets more exciting and back to the issues of goal. you know the goals and the things that you want toe bring into the outside world. We'll come through that beautiful face of compassion and love and, doc, that your your spirit is your front.
I love that. And I think it resonates with a lot of people that I'm just feeling in myself that this is exactly the message that we want to hear is we're entering 2020 is exactly that. I mean, how can we expect other people to have compassion for us if we are also not loving ourselves and having that same compassion and holding that space that makes us feel safe and secure and loved because we are and you know, that's that's our our gift and gift to the world. How can people reach you? Or how would you like them to reach you? I know that you have a website and there's a quiz and all the social media channels and things, but, um, would you like to share those with? That was our listeners.
Sure on my website is Victoria sean Tueting dot com. I do intuitive coaching for people across the globe and intuitive counseling for my office in Connecticut. where I'm a licensed professional counselor. I am in the process. It should be ready almost any day now, developing, activating your Intuition online course, which are really excited about because I've been teaching intuition development now for about 12 years and be my first online class. And I'm really excited. I do have an active presence on Facebook and Instagram, and I blogged a lot. So and I have of newsletter. People are interested in that. You confine up through my website, and I do a lot of blogging and also have a spiritual book group, which is here in Connecticut. But many people sign up for that list. Be read really quote book that you can follow bond with us, that something that would interest you,
always looking at cool books and tell us a little bit more about the class. Is it gonna be limited to a certain amount of people and what's the general time frame? He said. Coming soon
is going to be. It's going to be live and think. January 1st is what we're shooting for were very, very close, and it's an ongoing class, so it's it's the one of you sign up you get the video down log, download homework, some medications. That was the whole nice package. And it is my understanding that you will get to buy it once and then have that for life.
Yes. No, that's awesome, because I feel like we're I get inundated, especially on Instagram more than anything was like all these master classes and things, and they all sound really fascinating. But I love the idea that you have that. Then it's available long term, and I'll definitely include in the show notes. So if you can send me the information, I'll include that I remember well in when it when the episode is gonna be published Thank you for your time. And if there's anything else that you think of that you would like to share, just feel free to email me, have my email, and then I will be in touch and let you guys know when it's airing.
Thank you, Mark off by my head. Wow.
Thank you so much again for flexibility. And I have a great rest of bye bye. Thank you for listening to a psychic story. Please be sure to subscribe. So you never miss an episode and doing the conversation on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter. All episodes are free on your favorite podcast player or at a second story dot com. Uh.